Life in Equilibrium

Was reflecting on the things I needed to let go of before the year ends whilst in the shower (I am one of those who ponder about stuff while showering =p)

Well the most obvious one is my ability to have children...been feeling very poorly about this "right" (dun think God made this a right, humans call it a right as majority of the population has it...making themselves miserable when they realise they dun have it) being held from me for so long.

Life is in equilibrium, just not mine alone i guess but collectively. I have been focusing only on my side of the equation and how unfair things seem (such as when I found out that a close friend is pregnant when she did not intend to have children and the pregnancy was easy for her, as she only discovered her pregnancy 5 months into term and sailed right thru it discovering the sex of her baby on her very first visit to the gynae). If I had only considered that the other side of the equation was her joy and that by knowing and made aware of how hard I have tried to have one of my own will make her treasure what she has all the more. That kinda balanced things out didn't it.

Life is cruel as we are made aware of things that we don't wish to know or rather given information that do us no good (like maybe I only have one kidney from a rudimentary horn or my mum knowing that her daughter has to go through IVF...). But it is also the sharing of such information that makes others realise how fortunate they are and encourage them to do what they can to preserve/maintain what they have.

Maybe we are not blind, not that greedy and discontented =) just that we see the 2 different sides to the equation at starkly different times of our lives dats all. After all that being said, why do I still feel so bad inside?!

Merry Christmas to all!!